It’s been quite sometime since I have blogged (so let’s see if I can remember how to do this). I was super motivated earlier this year and then boom I got pregnant…with twins. Things were going good throughout this Spring. I felt good for the most part until pregnancy brain started to kick in sprinkled with a dash of tiredness. Then my motivation went out the window. On top of pregnancy, my husband and I decided that we were outgrowing our little two bedroom apartment and needed a house for our growing family.
Long story short, we found out shortly before we were about to move to our first house that one of twins had passed away and that there were some problems with the surviving baby. Genetic disorder tests were ordered and we breathed a sigh of relief when the test came back negative. However, that still didn’t explain why I had low amniotic fluid, the babies brain had fluid on it and he just wasn’t growing like he should have been. He was the size of 16 week old fetus at 20 weeks gestational age.
We prayed and prayed for our little guy. On August 19th our little guy, Nicholas Alexander was born, but not breathing. We kind of knew the night before he was going to pass away because he had stopped moving and his heart rate had slowed down dramatically.
I was devastated, to put it mildly. I slipped into a deep depression and fought with myself just to get out of bed to care for our 2 year old daily. It’s been beyond tough. This is the fourth pregnancy I’ve lost. There for awhile it was like living a nightmare that you couldn’t wake up from.
Things are a bit better, although I thought we would have 3 children to care for this holiday season. We don’t. I had given up on writing for awhile, then realized that it’s what always helps me get through. Writing is so therapeutic for my soul. Every time I try to leave it alone, I always turn back to it.
So for all of you who were wondering were I slid off to, or “what’s going on”, this is my story. I am still working diligently to get The Misadventures of Melody T. edited and in the hands of my readers in early 2017. I am also working on some short stories as well. I really appreciate you hanging with me. I pray that 2017 will be a better year.
Thanks for reading!